Becoming a Mom
There’s a saying, when a baby is born, a mother is born too. And that’s true. And really profound and touching. But becoming a mother, and meeting all the demands that come with the job, can leave you feeling a little disconnected from who you were before that lovely transformation. When you find yourself feeling a little lost in motherhood, here are some tips to help you reconnect with yourself.
carve out time for yourself
Fight for it. Calendar it. Make others honor it.
One way to achieve this is don’t try to do anything while your baby naps that you can do while they’re awake.
Preserve that nap time for the “you” stuff like a quick yoga session, journaling or writing, reading a book. If folding laundry, tiding up or emptying the dishwater fall under your jurisdiction, save it for when your baby is awake. And speaking of the dishwasher…
Whether it’s a partner, friend, another mom, or hired extra hands - don’t be afraid to ask for help and allow yourself to take a break and recharge.
something just for you
If your budget allows, treat yourself to something just for you.
A class, an experience, a massage, a piece of jewelry, a nice sweater or accessory, even a fancy box of tea to sip at the end of the day. Trying something new can actually be a great way to start feeling like you again. Get creative, but make sure whatever you pick is a treat and not something too practical!
Introduce yourself to people as you
This may sound simple, but when you introduce yourself to other parents, give them your name, rather than simply identifying yourself as your child’s mom. Ask other parents for their names as well. You could even include a non-mom related fun fact about yourself. “Hi, “I’m Elizabeth and I love true crime podcasts."
INCLUDE YOUR KIDS IN YOUR HOBBIES
Get a hiking carrier and bring your kiddo for a hike. Find a dance class where you can bring your baby. Teach your little one how to paint or knit or garden. By including your kids in age-appropriate versions of the activities you love, you will not only be able to enjoy them, you’ll get to witness their joy experiencing something new which lets you experience it in a whole new way.
Give Yourself Permission to Change Your Priorities
Don’t beat yourself up if your priorities shift a little. Not everything you once cared about - even deeply - is going to feel as important to you after becoming a mother. You may feel like certain endeavors no longer feed your soul or feel worth the time and effort, and that’s okay! Give yourself the grace to let your priorities shift to make space for the newest little priority. Even if it’s just temporary. With a little patience and some trial and error, you’ll find the balance that makes you feel most like the new “mom” you and the old you.
Article by: Jessica Kivnik